When You Dream

I think it would be safe to say that we all have dreams. I don't necessarily mean the dreams used in the sense of "One day I hope that..." etc. But more along the lines of every night we dream about something, or at least, we have dreamed about something. Just the other night I had a dream. It's been a long time since I've remembered my dream, and even longer since I've dreamt about something of this nature. I was lying down with common acquaintances listening to something or other on the radio. It seemed apparent that we had just finished some kind of formal event, like a ball or benefit, because I was properly dressed in a tuxedo, and many of the people around me were dressed in similar apparel. Before me was a young woman in a black silk dress. She was lying on the ground , staring up at me as the music played on. She commented on the lyrics, and I couldn't help but smile at the comment that now escapes me. I would like to preface the rest of this that this was not in fact some sort of erotic dream where sins were committed and the night was scarlet, in fact, it was very different from that. She asked if I wanted to leave with her. I took her hand and we began to run. Now, as you can imagine this was a unique scene, as women don't tend to run in black silk dresses, nor men in tuxedos, take my word for it, it's more difficult that the common movie may portray. Yet all that aside, we were running. Things stopped making sense at this point, we were traveling it seemed through time and space as one second we seemed dashing down the sideways of italy, and then next we were running across stagnant streets of New York City, yet all I wanted to do was stop. I was tired of running, and I wanted a moment of peace with her. As we stopped, she looked at me, hand still in mine, and she smiled, as if she knew it was coming to an end. We both knew it was over, but there was nothing we could do to stop the oncoming conscious clamor that my mind would make. And so I woke up. It seemed to end sooner than I had anticipated, but none the less it came, and I felt empty.

It's dreams like these that make us want to search for something, find something that is above and beyond the status quo. It drives our emotions to feel more, to search for more, and to hope that someday we will wake up, and be so overjoyed that the dreams are over, and reality has well overcompensated for the alternative. We all have dreams, whether it be ambition, fear, romance, or ideals they provide to us what gasoline provides to a modern car. Yet just as helpful, dreams can also cause insurmountable damage to our psyche and our reality if we do not bridle those passions with the idea that there is in fact a right way and a wrong way. Dreams are ideas, and when we fail to remember this basic principle we lose grip on what is in fact our fate and our purpose. We are by nature meant to be something better, but often times better can be confused for "more". Being content with the potential we have is a mechanism for peace and tranquility to once more push us in the right direction, helping us live a life of satisfaction and fulfillment. Letting a feeling of accomplishment into our lives can once more fuel us on in a direction of progression, and not self destruction. We may never reach the day of self sustained flight, nor be the perfect dancer for the russian ballet, but learning that perhaps sky diving, or taking part in our children's dance recitals is an acceptable compromise will give us courage to live as a joyful and promising contributor to the beautiful world that we inhabit. Letting go can mean failure, or it can mean recovery. I will look for that feeling that I felt, and it will provide an inspiration for not settling for a cheap imitation, but it was never the girl in the black dress, it was the emotions evoked. Only we ourselves are given the knowledge to choose, and with that power comes change.

This is what we do.

Ever since I can remember, I started a blog with a song. The rhythm helped me block out all other thoughts that could taint or diminish the meanings of what was being said. When I was younger, my words didn't really make sense. I don't expect these words to make more sense, but at least they're a bit less juvenile. Or we can hope so. So this is me, when I'm grown up. I once thought that things were simple. Living was less of a task and more of an opportunity. Each day could be found with a rising sun and a shaking off of the dreams we had just minutes before. It was great. Now we look at everyone and assume they have something to gain. Maybe they do. We live in a cut throat ambitious world where everyone has everything to gain and lose all in the same season of abstract influence and manic manipulative coercion. I'm noticing a lack of trust in society. Virtues hold us up. They provide support for a future and assist in moral stability that results in a comfortable and incessant peace giving universe. Yet when these morals and common human courtesies are challenged, we find ourselves teetering on the brink of humanity and carnal necessities of selfishness and disregard for the feelings and comfort of others. Survival of the fittest. Perhaps not physically as in days of darwin, perhaps not mentally as in days of nuclear and lunar races, but instead a fittest in terms of a steeled heart and cold conquest. How often we look to others with hopes that they are the one, simply because we find our energies depleted from previous encounters of countless conquistadors that only want what we have, and not who we are. And still, there are those finding love in times of turmoil. Time seems to be pushing open the dividers in an inexplicable way of extreme separation. There is a constant reminder that life is no longer about neutral people. People seem to be much more black and white despite our constant insurgence against discrimination and our noble endeavors to provide unity between the human race. Yet how well are we succeeding? In constant barrage comes the idea that we all need to be the same and accepting of what everyone tells us, yet isn't that what we fought against so much all those years ago? We are not the same, we should not think the same, and the christian should not force his ideals upon the pagan, nor should the politician appeal to the unsuspecting teen that abortion is the only solution to the problems faced by those of the maniacally media be-ravaged juvenile mother. Where once was a life simple, cloudless, imperfect, yet safe, now there lays a track of impenetrable steel walls known as ignorance. There comes a point where push comes to shove. That point should be occurring significantly less than, in our current reality, is happening. So maybe things are different now. Maybe we know more, but I was taught that knowledge was power, and when I turn on a TV set, my ancient archaic personal computer, or pick up (heaven forbid) a newspaper, I see nothing but the weak minded trying so desperately to express themselves. It would all seem folly to me. No need to sink into a spell of depression, but just remember that life is worth living when we find those that make a sunrise shine and a moonbeam gleam. Just a bit of food for thought.